a dying man's gift to a man already dead
by mayfairs
Summary: Fuji is a shinigami.  Remember that.  - Mild perfect pair. AU. /for The Jabberer/


**a dying man's gift to a man already dead**;

mild perfect pair

Fuji is a** shinigami**. (Remember that.)

* * *

><p><strong>one<strong>

A man stands when everyone else is no more, a man stands when the world has crumbled.

He is perfectly poised with an eerie kind of quality.

.

The dead man's ashes are bottled and they're already gone – give it some time and it'll vanish.

No one cries any more.

.

It's a habit of this man – to hold regard to those he spent time with. It reminds him that he was human once, and that he could have cried once, that he could have loved once.

.

"_Will you serve your duty until the death?"_

_._

"_I really don't see any alternative."_

**two**

It's a horrible game, but the man likes to play dress up, see? It makes him feel good. Makes him feel human.

The pages of his dictionary thick book are crisp, and he imagines dry blood.

.

"Hello, My name is Fuji. I'm your new tenant. Pleased to meet you."

.

His eyes are closed and his lips are tight.

.

"Nice to meet you, Fuji. Please, do come in."

.

He can't help but imagine he could have been close to this person. He can tell. It's in his eyes.

**three**

He spends a rainy day reading his book of names. His fingers trace over the name of his landlord, Tezuka Kunnimitsu. Such a fitting name. He says it again and again on his lips, and imagines the other saying his name over and over again.

.

It doesn't sound as appealing.

.

Tezuka's house is big, and empty. Like he was waiting for something to fill in the walls. Like he was waiting for someone to read his books, stare at his paintings, take pictures of the scenery outside.

.

Too bad he isn't that person.

**four**

Remember your job. Remember what you're doing. You're not dead yet, but you wish you were. Yeah, he wonders why he bothered in the first place. All this for a place in heaven? You had to be joking. Retirement sounded amazing, but it meant you were reincarnated into a _living thing, _not necessarily a human.

.

But he wishes he was human, even if it meant sacrificing his hard work and being sent to hell.

.

Tezuka stays out late for the whole week, and he knows what he's being doing.

**five**

He sits on Tezuka's bed and traces his finger over his name again, and pictures scan into your brain. Numbers. Words. More words. Words that will tell you what will happen, and up to a hundred alternatives.

.

Sometimes, you think that God is a very sick minded person.

**six**

Tezuka treats him to cinema and dinner afterwards, and he has never felt this way before. It's not the first time he was invited out, but he holds a feeling that he's never felt before in his life. And he feels human – humans are afraid of what they don't know, and he certainly was a little afraid now.

.

Was he feeling emotions? Was he becoming human? Was God finally giving him a break?

**seven**

He's meeting the people that could become his friends. Happy, peppy people with names he'd probably forget soon. Yes, once Tezuka's gone he'd be alone again. He wouldn't meet any of these people again.

.

In the middle of the birthday party, he cries. They all worry and fret over him, but he shakes it off and says that something was in his eye.

**eight**

"Tezuka, how does it feel to be human?" He asks once, when he goes to visit a dying friend of Tezuka's with him.

The man doesn't die. Not yet. His ties onto the physical world were too strong.

.

"It's heavy." Tezuka replies. He doesn't question him, and is oddly accepting. "Do you think he'll die?"

.

"No." He replies simply. He knows so.

.

"But he's already dead. He just gets lonely sometimes." Tezuka says quietly.

**nine**

He is jealous of the man with the blue hair. There's this thing about his eyes that tell him he knows more than an average human does. It's soft, and rough. It's raw, and comforting.

.

But like Tezuka said, the man was already dead.

.

He looks straight ahead at a blank wall when they enter the airy hospital room. The man no longer moves, reacts, or lives. But he can hear his voice.

.

"_A Shinigami, huh. Come to finally take me?"_

_._

"_Not today, maybe tomorrow. After God's done with you, you'll be free."_

_._

"_Will I ever move again? Talk again? Eat without being a baby?"_

_._

"_Maybe one day."_

_._

"_That's all you ever say."_

**ten**

He remembers the first time he takes a soul. It was lengthy and the family was forced to believe in false hope because his hands were shaking – positing the soul and taking it out of position. Finally, after thirty human minutes, the man passes on.

.

He imagines taking Tezuka's soul, or the man with the blue hair's soul, but although the alternative endings were endless, he has a feeling that the man will be fine. Some miracle will happen and he'll live a long life.

.

But then again, he wasn't God.

.

"Tezuka, are you _dating?_"

**eleven**

So Tezuka finally did get a girlfriend. They're too similar, he knows it won't work. Or does he? Is it just his own desire? No, that's idiotic. A shinigami can't feel attached to humans, the barer of the souls they collect. It's not possible.

.

But he hopes it is. He dreams of being human after all – it feels so close, but scrapes his fingers.

**twelve**

It snows in Tokyo during Christmas time. It's not the prettiest he's ever seen, but it's not horrible. He doesn't feel the cold, instead, he feels dumb.

.

He's sitting in his rented room alone, with the heating off and the cold seeping inside his room. He doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what he should do.

**thirteen**

Tezuka is drunk and he's having sex with his new girlfriend. He can hear everything. For the first time, he feels raw emotion stabbing his guts. It seeps through his defence system like a calm illness. He feels the need to empty his stomach.

**fourteen**

Tezuka having a hangover is funny. Really funny. The girlfriend winks at him from time to time, but he ignores it. Since when did such a glasses girl change to become a slut? He found the world rather amusing.

.

Tezuka turns a little red when he mentions the sex. The girl giggles, and he smiles. Or does he?

**fifteen**

Five days left. The date is set in red, meaning it is the set date. The cause is still unknown, God likes to play his games, all right.

.

"You should live your life to the fullest." He is vague, knowing it doesn't matter if he's vague.

.

Tezuka doesn't say anything.

**sixteen**

Tezuka breaks up with little miss slut after he overhears her having phone sex with some other guy. He found it absolutely hilarious, taunting Tezuka in any way he could with a sly smile on his face.

.

And then Tezuka shuts him up.

.

"I like you."

**seventeen**

His world is put into doubt. What is this? Is he finally human? Is he feeling emotions? Should he not do it? No, that's right. He's a human that would die very soon, and he's a shinigami who is fated to serve until hard to achieve death. Quitting is only available to the ones that God likes, and he doesn't think God is a big fan of him.

.

No, he's thinking too hard about it.

**eighteen**

"Is your heart okay?"

.

"Depends."

.

He kisses Tezuka on the lips, devouring him, trying to remember what he smelt like. Is this love? Is this what love feels like? Is he finally reaching the end?

**nineteen**

His train malfunctions and crashes into another train. There are no survives. Fuji breaks a rule and protects his body from being devoured completely by the flames.

.

Before he set off for work, he kisses him on the lips. He cups his cheeks, and they're both breathless.

.

"_See you, Fuji."_

**twenty**

He is in a suit again, standing where no man stands and no man will stand. He doesn't stand eerily – and instead of writing he has a group of flowers in his hand. His hair is wet and it soaks into his skin. That's what his body believed anyway.

.

He places the flowers on top of his grave, and it goes unseen as earth is thrown in to cover the hole. The man with the blue hair is released from hospital today. The dead man's friends have no more tears to shed. Once a man has left, he can take nothing along with him.

And then slowly, he loses touch of it all. And he wonders why he's standing there in the first place.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Happy belated Birthday, Jabby! I'm sorry this is late, but I got stuck and I read your fic which resulted into this. I hope you enjoy it, hahaha. ~ Thank you for always being so nice to me, darling. I wish you all the best. Have fun being seventeen!


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